copyright 2008 by Gary L. Pullman
Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady
High school teachers and college instructors complain about students' essays being disorganized, unsupported, and undeveloped. In other words, they complain that students' writing is unfocused, vague, and general. If you use the principles we identified in "Essay Patterns of Development," your essay won't have these problems. However, it is often difficult for students to generate enough details to support and develop their thesis and topic sentences fully and completely. As a result, teachers and instructors conclude that the students' claims (thesis and topic sentences) are unconvincing or unsubstantiated. In this post, we will show how planning your essay can provide the specificity (the specific details) that are needed to make your claims convincing to your readers (in school, usually your teachers, instructors, and, sometimes, fellow students).
Let's assume that, using the "Three-Step Brainstorming Process" or the "Thesis Trident," you have generated this thesis concerning two movies, My Fair Lady and She's All That, that you watched in class:
In both movies, a bet results in the antagonists’ transformation, which, in turn, leads to the protagonists’ transformation.
This thesis, in turn, becomes the basis for developing these three topic sentences:
The main characters bet that they can transform the antagonists.
Professor Higgins bets Colonel Pickering that he (Professor Higgins) can pass Eliza Doolittle off as a “duchess at the embassy ball.”
Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to speak properly.
The main characters bet that they can transform the antagonists.Now, select examples from the movies that illustrate each of these topic sentences:
As a result of the bet, Eliza and Laney are transformed.
The antagonists’ transformations transform the protagonists.
The main characters bet that they can transform the antagonists.
Professor Higgins bets Colonel Pickering that he (Professor Higgins) can pass Eliza Doolittle off as a “duchess at the embassy ball.”
Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to speak properly.
He uses rote learning (memorization) techniques to teach her to pronounce words
correctly.
He insists that she practices pronunciation drills.
He assigns her appropriate conversation topics.
Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to act like a lady.
He directs his housekeeper to bathe Eliza.
Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering pick out dresses for Eliza to wear.
Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to behave properly.
He rehearses Eliza at the Ascot racetrack.
Eliza is in mixed company, among high society folk.
Eliza fails the test.
Professor Higgins faces a penalty if he loses the bet.
He would have to pay his own expenses.
He would have to set Eliza up as a flower shop owner.
Zach Siler bets Dean Sampson that he (Zach) can make Laney Boggs their high school’s annual prom queen.
Zach helps Lanie to socialize.
To help her to become more popular, Zach introduces Lanie to his friends.
Zach faces a penalty if he loses the bet: he must appear naked at his high school graduation ceremony.
As a result of the bet, Eliza and Laney are transformed.
Eliza develops self-esteem and self-confidence, and she becomes more assertive.
When Freddie Eynsford-Hill and the prince at the embassy ball are attracted to her, Eliza understands that men can find her attractive, which increases her self-esteem.
When Colonel Pickering treats Eliza courteously, she understands that she is worthy of being treated with respect, which also enhances her self-esteem.
When Eliza passes herself off as a princess at the embassy ball, she gains self-confidence.
When Eliza realizes that she can act independently of Professor Higgins, she becomes more assertive.
Lanie becomes more outgoing and more popular, gaining self-esteem and assertiveness.
Zach accompanies Lanie to the theater and takes her to the beach, where she must
interact with her peers.
Zach introduces Lanie to his friends, who are members of the in-crowd.
Although Lanie does not win the title of prom queen, she is a close runner-up, which suggests that she has gained a good deal of popularity.
Lanie gains enough assertiveness to stand up for her values, even if they make her less popular.
The antagonists’ transformations transform the protagonists.
Professor Higgins comes to think of Eliza as a person.
After Eliza stands up to him, showing him that she is an independent individual deserving of respect, Professor Higgins is attracted to Eliza.He begins to treat her with respect.
He wants to become friends with her because of who she is rather than because of what he may gain from his association with her.
Zach falls in love with Lanie.
After Lanie insists upon living according to her own values, Zach respects her
as a person.
He wants to become friends with her because of who she is rather than because of what he may gain from his association with her.
By planning your essay ahead of time, thinking of the various examples from the movies themselves that you can use to support and develop each of your essay's topic sentences, you have generated a lot of specific material that will make your claims (thesis and topic sentences) convincing to your readers. In fact, the essay has almost written itself. Basically, all you have left to do is to write an introductory paragraph and a concluding paragraph, add transitions, and add any additional examples that come to mind as you write the first draft of your essay. The result might be something like this (the thesis is in bold font; the topic sentences are underlined):
A Lady Is As A Lady Does
by Gary L. Pullman
What is a lady? In part, the answer to this question depends upon the society in which a woman lives, for this term is defined by others--the members of the upper class--who determine what it shall mean. The definition of the term "lady" is likely to change with the times, and it is also likely to differ from one place to another. In nineteenth-century London's high society, being a lady meant something far different than being a lady meant among the in-crowd of a twentieth-century American high school. In both cases, those who had the power to define the social significance of other people's status, or standing, in society defined which women could be considered ladies and which could not be considered to be such. Often, such distinctions are based upon arbitrary, superficial standards. In the movie My Fair Lady, it is mostly how a woman appears and acts that determines whether she shall be considered a lady, whereas, in She's All That, it is largely a matter of whether a girl is popular among her peers that determines whether she shall be considered a lady. The absurdity and superficiality of these social class distinctions is made clear by the idea that a woman can change stations as a result of subterfuge and artifice. In both movies, a bet results in the antagonists’ transformation, which, in turn, leads to the protagonists’ transformation.
The main characters bet that they can transform the antagonists. Professor Higgins bets Colonel Pickering that he (Professor Higgins) can pass Eliza Doolittle off as a “duchess at the embassy ball.” Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to speak properly. He uses rote learning (memorization) techniques to teach her to pronounce words correctly. He insists that she practices pronunciation drills. He assigns her appropriate conversation topics, advising her to speak only about "the weather and everyone's health." Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to act like a lady. He directs his housekeeper to bathe Eliza. Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering pick out dresses for Eliza to wear. Professor Higgins teaches Eliza to behave properly, teaching her the difference between a handkerchief and her sleeve. He rehearses Eliza at the Ascot racetrack. Eliza is in mixed company, among high society folk.Eliza fails the test. Professor Higgins faces a penalty if he loses the bet. He would have to pay his own expenses.He would have to set Eliza up as a flower shop owner. Zach Siler bets Dean Sampson that he (Zach) can make Laney Boggs their high school’s annual prom queen. Zach helps Lanie to socialize. To help her to become more popular, Zach introduces Lanie to his friends. Zach faces a penalty if he loses the bet: he must appear naked at his high school graduation ceremony.
As a result of the bet, Eliza and Laney are transformed. Eliza develops self-esteem and self-confidence, and she becomes more assertive. When Freddie Eynsford-Hill and the prince at the embassy ball are attracted to her, Eliza understands that men can find her attractive, which increases her self-esteem. When Colonel Pickering treats Eliza courteously, she understands that she is worthy of being treated with respect, which also enhances her self-esteem. When Eliza passes herself off as a princess at the embassy ball, she gains self-confidence. When Eliza realizes that she can act independently of Professor Higgins, she becomes more assertive. Lanie becomes more outgoing and more popular, gaining self-esteem and assertiveness. Zach accompanies Lanie to the theater and takes her to the beach, where she must interact with her peers. Zach introduces Lanie to his friends, who are members of the in-crowd. Although Lanie does not win the title of prom queen, she is a close runner-up, which suggests that she has gained a good deal of popularity. Lanie gains enough assertiveness to stand up for her values, even if they make her less popular.
The antagonists’ transformations transform the protagonists. Professor Higgins comes to think of Eliza as a person. After Eliza stands up to him, showing him that she is an independent individual deserving of respect, Professor Higgins is attracted to Eliza. He begins to treat her with respect. He wants to become friends with her because of who she is rather than because of what he may gain from his association with her. Zach falls in love with Lanie. After Lanie insists upon living according to her own values, Zach respects her as a person. He wants to become friends with her because of who she is rather than because of what he may gain from his association with her.
Both My Fair Lady and She's All That show that the powerful, whether they are the members of society's upper class or the most popular crowd in a high school, determine the social status of others, including women. Whether a woman is to be considered a lady and is to be treated accordingly depends not so much upon who she is herself as it does upon what others--the social elite--think of her. These movies suggest that social class distinctions are often based upon superficial, or even absurd, standards, such as one's appearance, manner of speech, and popularity. Nevertheless, these distinctions have real effects both upon how women are treated by others and upon how they think and feel about themselves. These movies also show the power of love to transform others, for it is when Professor Higgins truly becomes friends with Eliza and when Zach falls in love with Lanie that their feelings for the women they’ve transformed into ladies allow the ladies to transform them into men who care about them as people rather than as creations whose transformations reflect nothing more than their winning of a cruel bet. Love, not appearance, dress, manner, and popularity, these movies suggest, is the basis for real relationships and significant transformation.
Rachel Leigh Cook as Lanie Boggs in She's All That
At the top, write the essay's topic. In this case, the essay (a comparison-contrast essay) that deals with two movies, My Fair Lady and She's All That, so we write "My Fair Lady and She's All That" (without the quotation marks) at the top of the Thesis Trident:
At the end of each point of the Thesis Trident, write one of the three related points that will make up your thesis' plan of development. Here, we have chosen these three points:
